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  I am still getting used to being a Dad

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  drunk guys entered a taxi

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  My favorite sign undoubtedly

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  I like to think it works

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  You called me

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  It does not matter what temperature the room is it is always room temperature

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  Better blow jobs than no jobs

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  I lost my giant snail at work Anyone seen it

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  Like they really are

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  Yesterday was this dude is last day and was told he needed to pack up his office